September 22, 2023
Is it possible to be free of selfishness and thus become directly aware of what this self means? What is the self? We have completely neglected this quest and instead have been busy building up relationships, family, properties, endlessly multiplying our problems then struggling to escape from them and thus creating more.
I think, “I am not married, I am alone, no one will look after me. If I marry, my problem will be solved.” So, I marry and then find that my own problem has become two. We are both dissatisfied, bored. She is constantly looking for my faults, so “I'll divert her attention, give her a baby. When the baby is crying, she won't bother about my snoring.”
Has the problem been solved? No, now it is three. This continues until eventually I go to the divorce court and am back to square one. Again, I am lonely and again seek a wife and the problem is endless until I begin to turn my gaze within and see me, the ego, the personality as it is. There is this vacuum, this emptiness that draws all these problems to itself; and therefore, I must become aware of this emptiness. I or the personality is the emptiness that invites all the problems. If there were no vacuum, the air would not rush in.